"Mental illness is like fighting a war where the enemy’s strategy is to convince you that the war isn’t actually happening."
"All lives end, all hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage."
please don’t leave me on Flickr.
A lot of people in my class really liked this image and I guess I do too… this feels so heavily referenced now that I look at it but it felt so spontaneous at the time?
image, part of a series of experiments.
"When they broke up in 93 he wasn’t acting like Johnny anymore.. It’s almost like Winona took Johnny’s soul, Johnny’s love." - Tim Burton
(Source: goldtome, via psythurisma)
It’s the images construed inside my mind; the ones filled with idealism and hope, they make my heart shudder the next instant and kills, slowly and softly.
Because the flashing images in reality make my stomach sick, and I wish they didn’t.
“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.”
20.09.2014 - I woke today looking at the scars on my body, feeling alright with it.
1) From almost missing the transport at 2am ie. the hike panicking, to wishing I could capture the beauty of the night stars that only my eyes managed to.
2) The 12yo orphan drinks man with a fitness level my breathe couldn’t catch up with and supported me countless times up through the 1717m steps: First world problems are shameful.
3) The individuals I sent pictures of this view to, how the skyline changed in an instant and itself being the perfect gift.
4) The irony of going on a social media detox and posting this but at least I’ve rid myself of the disease of fomo.
5) Murphy’s Law stands and ashamedly, my directions still suck.
6) Found out that I really am not as independent as what people and I imagined myself to be so the past 3 days have truly been a stretch.
7) What David Levithan taught me: the proper verb for depression is sink.
8) Never felt so lost in a situation I put myself into but got through the evening with a (history) lesson of a fictional Holocaust survival story.
9) For the love (and dependence) of technology, thank God for my 3 best friends and family who made me feel less lonely today.
10) It still fascinates me how the foreigners and locals I came in contact with think I am Japanese and are surprised by my ‘good’ English, but in fact I am just thankful they speak the same language.
11) How lucky am I to meet Muthu and the rider who doesn’t understand English and brought me back safely despite me not having enough cash.
12) Maybe it’s because it’s my day but for once in my life, I feel like luck has been on my side, and I want to rmbr this feeling.
13) Honestly doubted the journey of self-discovery but I am amazed by how my mind has changed in this trip.
14) From stepping in here as a lost sheep to getting inspired and wanting to inspire (again). From growing to dislike each adding year and the idea of my birthday to embracing it, thank you Bali.
15) I am still a city girl.
Maybe I should finally start a blog, end of verbal vomit post. (at Mount Batur Volcano)
"Love cannot be found where it truly does not exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does."
My wish today and from now on: To practice an open heart, believe in self and continue to live (with hope). (at Mount Batur)
To be able to feel excitement about things, happiness when a new shirt fits, contentment when there is food for sustenance, being able to dream about the world and being out there, thinking of the interests of my friends and family and holding them dearly to me still - a huge part of my heart is thankful for these feelings, for they are fleeting.
Retaining is key. And I wish I could do more in controlling.